QuanBlog Mentors Summer 2021
Father’s Day was yesterday. My mother (hello, Mentor) and I went to see the Royals play the Boston Red Sox. A father and daughter sat in the row directly behind us. Me with my mother and him with his daughter---I have heard stories about the opening game and the Detroit Tigers for decades. I love these stories told by my retired professor Mother. The daughter, who couldn’t have been more than 12 years old, had not been to a baseball game. Throughout the game, the father patiently explained every play. When the Red Sox were winning 2-0 in the second inning, the young lady asked ‘is it over?’. He replied, ‘it is entirely too soon to know’. When the Red Sox had players on first and third, she became worried. He explained that a double play could get the Royals to end the inning (and then there was a double play). He even explained to her foul balls.
My mother and I left the game in the fifth inning. It was very hot. As we prepared to leave, I felt I would have regret if I didn’t say anything about this father and daughter connection. When these feelings occur consistently and deeply, I know my soul wants my attention. The soul has a voice. It speaks to the ego, particularly when the ego feels dry, lifeless---devoid of passion. Whenever you recognize yourself comparing yourself to others for whatever reason, your soul has left the building like the proverbial rotund singer.
My soul stayed at the stadium whispering in my ear. I had to speak---although this person and I did not look alike. Thank the lord (pun intended) for Father’s Day. Being ‘freeish’ in this country means that sometimes our ‘colored’ souls seek out times to connect authentically with others, be that at a Royals Game in Diamond Club seating or at the Dollar Store. We learn early on from our Mentors how to make other-others feel comfortable. Our Mentors have ‘the talk’ with us. Boiled down---’the talk’ says you are one police officer, Karen, etc from jail and at worst death (Emmitt Till). Even I have ‘being in the suburbs without permission’ stories. On your knees, no matter what age or reason for existing outside your space. However, on this particular Father’s Day that aligns with Day 1 of Mentors Week, none of these egocentric reasons matter. Puns intended all over, hell, dad puns abound. This tall-ass white dude sitting in the Buck O'Neil seat talked to his daughter with an amazing amount of gentleness that Stevie, Ray and Miracle Worker could see--well, feel. Our souls feel truth. The truth in that moment of glorious exchange. I overcame my ego’s judgement. I spoke honestly when I did not have to do so. When you behave beyond what you were taught by your Mentors, you invite soul development. It’s not enough to just live with, settle for, be with someone as you age (that’s ego talking). Instead choose to be with those who get and glean the ashes of your soul burned through years (and/or lifetimes) of purification. ‘Dark night of the soul’ didn’t become a meme/narrative for nothing. It takes courting with that rock bottom to realize that no compassionate energy would have you be there ‘rock bottom’ unless you want a sadistic deity. Hey, look in the mirror for your Mentors. That’s where you'll gain your ability to cocreate the reality you desire from being a victor/hero/heroine in your life or want to gain the brownie points for being a victim/martyr. From our soul’s POV, there are no victims---simply those attached to stories that no longer serve them in the NOW.
Simply I said, ‘your explaining the game to your daughter was a thing of beauty to hear and witness’. He seemed visibly surprised as I continued, ‘is this her first game?’ He went on to say that she had gone to the World Series, but had been too young to understand. My son is an adult (who loves sports & works for CBS Sports!) I waxed poetically regarding his adult self, Father’s Day wishes were exchanged.
These simple and heartfelt acknowledgements make Mentors a special beginning to Our Raw Material. Hearing that father speak to his daughter brought fond memories of my own father at the Detroit Tigers baseball game. To experience this Mentor connection with my mother was the proverbial cherry on top (one more pun). I can remember one game in which the Tigers were down by seven (7) runs in the 8th inning. My father wanted to leave. I was adamant that they were going to win. They tied the game 9-9 in the ninth inning---going on to beat the California Angels 11-9. I was over the moon. Looking back it was one of my best memories, not only because I was a die hard Tigers’ fan, but because my father had listened to me. We stayed. We witnessed a great comeback. I felt heard.
To underestimate these small moments to hear our children, mate, coworker or anyone who we have consistent contact with is to miss witnessing universal magic. Certainly with children and loved ones, we can get so rushed and onto the next activity that we forget to savor the time with them. Stopping to smell the roses as metaphor, sure, getting to the essential fragrance of our soul-filled connections is truly sweet. Realize that Mentors can be anyone who influences you---good or bad. Indifference doth not make a Mentor. It is passion, focus and love. Even when our egos want to categorize and label our experiences from Mentors (and of course, Parents), from our soul’s perspective, it comes down to what you learn from the experience..
I’m of the metaphysical knowledge that we choose our parents. Whether you believe this or not, to review your early childhood from the viewpoint of acceptance of your parents and their lessons from their parents (your grandparents) can create a foundation of shared compassion. In other words, the ‘sins of the father’ are not automatically visited upon the children. After all, our soul’s do not deal in sin. There is no imperfection or missing some Ideal mark of perfect behavior, there is only love and wholeness. We emerge from our mothers (the source of life’s beginning) whole and connected to source. The more we accept truth from within (and have Mentors who remind us of this), the less we react to life’s challenges with anger, defensiveness, worry and anxiety.
Leaving Kauffman Stadium, my mother and I went to the KC Mystic Fair. We saw some beautiful art and jewelry from Africana Art on 63rd Street. The owner and I struck up a conversation. He looked like my great grandfather. His name was Byron. My partner’s name is Bryon (who often gets mistaken for a Byron), and it was Bryon who suggested that I stop at his table at the fair...
Know this: no matter which week of ORM, what you believe and/or experience to know---our souls speak through ‘coincidences’. Our souls connect the dots, the rootedness of our shared experiences.
After speaking with this gentleman about his own father, I asked about his birthday (as I do frequently when in deep discussion), he said May 3. I thought, but of course! My father (May 1), son (May 2) and great grandfather (May 12)! Couldn’t have Father’s Day without a mother---she’s April 26. The amount of love beaming through was palpable. Sometimes the emotional wave of love can be so deep and intense that you feel like you're floating away---or in the row boat merrily going down the stream. To an unrooted ego it can feel scary---yet through listening to the soul’s voice, reassuring and joyous. The more that I practice ORM (or ORM practices through me as an oracle/medium), the more I see the interconnectedness of all our roots. This responsibility creates much gratitude as I know I come from a line of people who loved and love me from their own positions of wholeness. It is important to unfreeze our Mentors. If we keep them locked into a narrative that keeps our wounds open, wholeness will not occur. I am not suggesting you overlook abuse of any kind, yet recognize their wounds too, when you can and are willing.
Yesterday at our Father’s Day dinner, I had the exceptional privilege to interview my mother about her father. Almost 40 minutes of storytelling (which I recorded, yea!), she filled in some gaps from her life. I felt as if my grandfather was right there with us (because he was)! I share these stories of immense gratitude as an inspirational welcome to ORM. This summer rocks already! Learn how to be your own wise person/Mentor to yourself too.