Another layer of 'I Hear Ya, Dad'
Now it's through your grandson.
I see so much of you in him. He wants to provide for his family.
He visited me for my birthday. Gave of his heart, mind and body. He wouldn't let me pay for anything. You know how divided I have been (almost always) around birthdays. I didn't have my first one until I was 16 (sweet). Talk about transcending gender. A girl gave me my first birthday party. My father bought me birthday gifts. Consistent Taurus it was a watch---every year. I could receive gifts, but not give them for birthdays or holidays. You see, from Jehovah's perspective, these were pagan and Devil inspired. 😈
His mother who was non-religious responded neutrally whenever the subject of religion for Jelani was discussed. When he was five years old, the Kansas City Star interviewed his kindergarten class to talk about Christmas, Jelani focused upon the gifts and fun, he did not mention anything about Jesus. Secretly, I was proud of him. This lack of connecting this pagan holiday to Jesus Christ (where many myths around the world celebrate the return and increase of light/sun/spirit) let me know that our son would not have the ancestral karma to burn up. He could live each Christmas season to enjoy these times without guilt or shame.
Jelani is generous of spirit, time and resources in direct proportion to how much he wants to give with no strings attached. I hear that within my heart. Whereas his grandfather, who had more struggles financially and emotionally, gave many times with strings attached. I can remember my first Wittaneur watch I purchased before a meeting he was to go to, and he asked to wear it (before I was out as an intuitive I knew I was not going to get that watch back (and I didn’t). When I asked weeks later, he said he’d paid for it because I worked for him...his early childhood was filled with transactional relationships, Jelani’s was not.
This birthday brought up profound feelings. These cycles of ORM remind me of how in each season there is a deepening, an awaring that I can sense but surprises me in its nuance. Feelings throughout my body, particularly in the solar plexus and heart areas aka chakras. A running theme of these 12 ORM pillars is how each week is in the same position to the solstice or equinox yet individually you can experience an entirely I urge perspective on said week. It's as if our soul is a blender making a smoothie for the ego to drink, enjoy and savor.
I've heard Earth, Wind & Fire's 'On Your Face' , a song my father specifically sent to me (Chiefs’ win over the Browns, 33 to 29, . My son's making time in his ambitious schedule holding down two to three positions while additional expansion happens at his company. Jelani burned off (unbeknownst to him) some ancestral karma with this visit. Where I lived frequently in detachment mode from my father and his ambitions, chronic tardiness and self-absorption, Jelani made me feel like the center of his world for five days. It's awe-inspiring to feel your future heal your past. Is it any wonder that the eldest son and youngest (or only child) exist on timeliness on the Ba-Qua. As these energies become conscious and loving, out centers vibrate, deepen and enlarge. From the ego's perch it would appear as if you are losing your individuality. However, the more you know your triggers, your idiosyncratic ways and your history, the more capable you are of surrender.
My 16th birthday was my first in two ways. I had never had a birthday party and it was a surprise. Decades later still I chose to soften and receive (aka Listening Week 6), the various social mores regarding birthday. This one I scored a double eagle---catching on quickly allowing others to join me and celebrate my being made physical.
Watching my grown son sleep before the clock struck 7pm on the day of his arrival (on my new daybed that I've wanted for years), can only be put into words, clumsily. Joy, pride & love are three that I'll use.
When my father would go to sleep early on Saturday evenings, I felt cheated. Looking at it through a child's eyes, I would muse (yes, children muse) 'why would he come to pick us up late (5 pm when he said 1pm) and then be asleep by 9pm? I didn't see his ambition. He needed to feel as if he were the sole provider. But, a father observing his grown ass son sleep in work he feels he's been called to you---well, well jubilee possesses the same these words---joy, pride & love. This ain't the kind of pride that's going before a fall because when spirit possesses and/over takes you, you get lifted. There's an elevation in feeling how the same experience can appear the same through your sight, but feel very different.
Facts---both my father and son were asleep for a limited visitation. So, from my mind/ego, I had less conscious interaction time. Yet, as a child, I felt lacking. As an adult, I feel like celebrating! My soul could feel (remember I may write this in Listening Week, but these events occurred in Emotions Week) his total relaxation---he might well have been sing 'When I Think of Home'.
Jubilee and Pentecost represent a symbol of early Christians and the pouring down of holy spirit. They could speak in tongues or understand each other too, perhaps? ORM aids us in getting beyond our separateness. Ideally, we can all speak the same language. I know that I didn't know that my son and father did the same thing, but I heard vastly different languages.